God.

haven been accountable to this place regularly as i would have like to.

but at least i do try to give it some attention.

so celebrated huiyin's burfdae. went to del's party.

enjoyed cell.service as well.

den tasted the pleasure of giving some lessons to the juniors in sj.

things i have been doing before.

anyway. guess wad.

i did not make it past yr1.

and ya.e inevitable qn.

to retain or to enter poly?

i suppose its a qn wif many answers frm many others.

jus wna be answerable to myself and God at the end of the day.

its really not anyone's fault except for me and myself alone.that i find myself in this kind of awkward situation.

i suppose i could wallow in self-pity and say ya 'that's the end of the road for me God. i give up.'

but thats not me.

wads impt for me now is the next step.

i m actually all for the poly route right now.

but i wna noe if this is just a form of escape route for me or it is the most ideal.

i certainly do not want to be labeled an escapist.running away from my fears? certainly not from the reality. but fears of the feeling of being defeated once more.it is devastating. enough to crush the weak.

okay. just posting this to really to let me organize my trains of thoughts which are actually blaring loudly in mind right now.

on a more random note. went through some emails and found this, "Love as if you've never been hurt."

it is intriguing huh. at least to me. =)

anyway went to melvin lim's blog.churchfriend of mine.

he said to reap an everlasting relationship, we wld have to sow seeds of time.

likewise.it would be logical that in order to reap a relationship of trust and love,we would have to sow seeds of trust and love in the very first place.

but somehow. people often do not get the point and expects a relationship of trust and love to be delivered to their doorstep before they would step out.



yeah.He lives forever.




"The trouble with being an optimist
is that people often think you don't
know what's going on around you. "