i dno what they are doing.
but i like this. (:

我真的好累好累。

我的思想﹐動作甚至呼吸都好像缓慢了許多﹐相比之下﹐周遭的事物與人們都似乎馬不停蹄地向前邁進﹐把我远远不止地抛在后头。这感觉起来像是我已被遗忘，相差的距离似乎遥不可及，无法赶上。

其实。。我只需睡上一场好觉。

new perspective.

...

My good friend's father just passed away.
Ugh.

God loves you.

An Awakening.

It has been since a long i have missed both cellgrp and our usual service in a row. In fact, i doubt i have missed even any in a really long time. A period back, it would seem absurd and ridiculous even to be so committed, but now it would be even unthinkable to miss praising him, listening to the Word of God during the weekends. What do you call it? Right, cleansing of the soul.

In any case, it felt half funny, half empty to miss out.

So, i met up with my squad back from sj days for quite a while after classroom session. Obviously everyone changed, we did no relieving of the magnificent past, just chilling and all. Friends, i guess will always be friends.

Funny thing is since we are gna meet up, i suggested why not just throw a surprise celebration for ris as well, so we got the cake, waited for him to go to the toilet and prepared. Thought i was in the loop for the surprise, turned out that i got surprised with a birthday cake too.

Before the day ended, went over to expo. I always love being around N112, gives me a warm, snug feeling. I know most of us aren't tight, but well. It just feels awesome, to be specific - safe.
____________________________________________________

在单单一天之内与多人的谈话之中让我深深地感受和意识到自从实习开始之后，我就似乎非常执着于我从不理会的想法和某些我昔日都觉得无味的情绪。我仿佛一直拼命地在尝试变成一个根本不是自己的自己。虽然这都是潜意识的改变，但是我毫无意愿持于现状。搜索着我的回忆里，我是个不愿被牵制于任何人，事物或情感的自由身。

这应意味着一个更真实，更完整的我。


At the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want.
- Lao Tzu

What's that again? Ohh, Birthday Wishlist.

I never drew up such a thing before cos i am never much of a birthday person.
Okay, i know lots of ppl say this and dt really mean it.
But i am really 平常心 towards this day.

The reason this wishlist would be up is to prevent headaches for friends and casting aside of stuffs that i would have no need for. And the list would most probably be like a shopping list for myself in the near future and since i do not really have any pressing needs for anything, they would probably be expensive wants. SO, if you really wna get me a present and dt wna burn your shallow pockets..just get me vouchers. ((:

Okay not the point.
Here it goes.

1) A pair of running shoes
My current ones are really worn out already. But nobody knows my shoe size so.. ADIDAS VOUCHERS.

2) A good watch
No good reason for something like that. Difficult to fathom someone's taste for timepiece so.. FOSSIL VOUCHERS.

3) Jodi Picoult's latest book
She is awesome i tell you. Anyway, i dt want to receive multiple copies and asking me if i have received one is funny so.. TIMES VOUCHERS.

Anyway i think vouchers are like the safest and ZARA and PEDRO would be awesomeee as well. But stuffs like maroon color, hood-less, leather look-alike jacket and funky i-touch covering are super welcome as well. Best would be a new bike OR tickets to holidays! (okay, forget the tix. haha)

i hate numbering anything so i stopped at #3 as you can see. Anyway just dont get me liverpool jersey, i wna get it myself. The main thing is, if you are reading this post, it will probably mean you are a mighty awesome friend of mine alr and that is probably enough.

Sounds a bit cliche i know, but heck i say i am not much of a birthday person and well, the list is what i would buy in the near future myself anyway.

CHEERIOS! ((:

"The world is spinning faster", he muttered under his heavy breath.

my future home. it must be. ((:

i wna be there right now!

“If you want to know what a man’s like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals”

—	Sirius Black

Anyway i got to just mention just in case i forget in the future.
The ppl here at the club are really awesome.
Generous would be more specific, their treats are almost on a daily basis.
No wonder white-collared population is all so well-fed and shaped.
Eat and sit. Eat and sleep.
Way of life.
Chuckles.

gives me hope.

literally, huh.

Rofl.

“All our young lives we search for someone to love. Someone who makes us complete. We choose partners and change partners. We dance to a song of heartbreak and hope. All the while wondering if somewhere, somehow, there’s someone perfect who might be searching for us.”

—	The Wonder Years

Polaroid Monday! (:

Origin.

Well, she certainly proved herself.
Bet that dude is eating his humble pie at some deli with "telephone" ringing in his ear at some f***ing deli.

cute eh.

I love walking in the rain.

Only occasionally though.
It gives me a sense of realism and gratification for just being alive.
But well, sunshine is still my kind of thing. (:

I wouldn't mind some now.

Love of God.

God is a good God.

His encompassing love is the fuel that keeps me going on daily when things around seem to continually come apart in wayward fashion.

I met this woman from Indonesia yesterday at the lighting console and she began to share about herself. Turns out she is a SOT student, trying to clock up ministry hours. She is an apparel designer, has a business now as a intermediary to bring designs to labels and still designs for Topshop and Miss Selfridge. Thing is, she dropped all of these, her family and picking-up business to come to School of Theology. When she told me," I didn't want to come, coming here was not my choice. But now i am loving it here, i called my mom to tell her saying that, ' i dont wna go back home alr!' ", i could feel there is genuine joy.

Then she said, "Others come here because they say wna know God or the Word more, or something but for me.. Pst Meng said there are many Christians around, some are living comfortably in their own skins, comfort zones; others living on the edge; and the rest? They jumped off the cliffs already, just like me."

I didn't really understand, didn't get what is 'jumped off' already. I thought she was referring to an analogy.

She continued," I was about to jump off already, but my mom and sister forced me to come join SOT. I had depression for very long and my mom was so worried about my condition, my life."

There and then, i understood. Depression.

We talked some more, she related about her latest vision from Holy Spirit, opened up about her goals and blessings from above, about how a company based in London actually offered her an opportunity. All the while, she was holding back tears in her eyes, for conflicting emotions but most importantly, tears of thanksgiving i could feel.

___________________________________________________________

Just before Svc ended, there was an alter-call, i opened my eyes after a long while to see Kewei cut a forlorn figure standing at his seat. Then i realized he needed support, both mentally and physically to get down the aisle to the front. The tangibility of the Holy Spirit up front was immense, i felt i was breathing Him. Both of us prayed but i was clueless, i needed help with Kewei. Then this leader stepped up, he prayed for him, asked about his needs, prayed somemore, all in the midst of tears, broken hearts and lying bodies all around. The leader asked Kewei to bend his hurt knee, his excruciating pain was plain for all to see, his howls and cries more so. Really, i pray for divine healing to come for him now.

Right then, i wished i had a camera to capture the acts of love. Dangling mucus were wiped away by strangers' bare hands without any hesitation, hugs of empathy were given without any consciousness of the differences between genders. I was deeply humbled, not just because of my inadequateness but by His unequivocal and unconditional love.

It dawned upon me then, that accent of the Indonesian woman does not matter, nor the skin color of the black woman who turned around and gave kewei the biggest embrace i ever saw, and no, the unfamiliarity of the male leader does not matter either. What matters is we believe in the same God, the one and only.

'Cos His love will overcome all differences.

"your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be."

- Psalm 139:16


He knew us before we were born.
Keep walking..

what? haha.

Imagery.

Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square hole. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.

“Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away.”

—

Hitch

My head and eyes follow intently even as she walk from to left to right on my screen.

Beauty of life.

Truer than truth itself.

Aww.

and it always happens.

(:

I wna shoot fireworks too.

Naivety or Innocence.

A childlike faith unlocks the door to the kingdom of heaven.

“Destiny is for losers. It’s just a stupid excuse to wait for things to happen instead of making them happen.”

—	Blair Waldorf

Mmmhmmm.

Stardust.

Hawt Sneakers.

Addicted to the Word.

I'll wna do this.

you bet.

“You know what the worst feeling in the world is? When someone you have been crushing on forever, when someone you love with all your heart, when someone gives you the butterflies when he walks by, when someone you dream about everyday, and someone you would give absolutely anything to, feel the same way - just not about you.”

- poeticheartache

Back-up Plan.

I like funny movies.
So night out with buddy, movie-d and gorged.
Another awesome day.

When fate intervenes..

My Apple.

Rofl.

“If love is blind, then friendship could probably use some glasses too.”
— The Secrets of Love by Rosie Rushton

Be Adventurous.

Screw limitations.

Retarded stuffs we did.