Bah

Okay. I will not.

Legit lone ranger.

I am decidedly that way.

Knock-Off Time!

Albert is a really an awesome dude.
My internship rocks.

This is seriously some hardcore blogging man.

Story of the Reds.

It has really been a sorry season so far for the Red half of Merseyside. Dumped out of Champions League in the group stages, struggled to win back-to-back matches, most probably gonna fail to clinch the lucrative and coveted Champions League spot and now on the brink of being knocked out of Europa League Semi-Final tonight.

What a fall from grace. From challengers of the BPL title just last season to now a team struggling to find its feet. Unimaginable? Not really.

There are definitely positives to take out of this doom and gloom though. We signed Jonjo Shelvey and he is definitely a talent to look out for in the near future. Aquilani and Gerrard's partnership seems to be gelling which surely is encouraging.

Let's just win it tonight pool.

You Will Never Walk Alone.

Thursday: "When is Friday that numbskull taking over my shift?!"

Yeah. Happiness is a choice.

Glad that you're around.

The best things in life are really just the simple things.
Yet it takes a contented person to realize it.

It is just really comfy and fuzzily nice to meet up with Jiemin after a long day at work. It is just a habit formed over time i guess, that i would always want to meet up with her and just blabber on about the going-ons in my life and i seldom sieve out any details. Kinda nice, just that perhaps i would like it better if she shares more about the minute happenings in her life as well. But well, since she prides herself on being a good listener... It is just as well that we have endless conversational topics, or else it would become pretty mundane.

No inspiration today, spent it all talking last night.

Look back.
How else are you supposed to know how far you have come.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

Finally watched it last night.

I rented it on Sunday's evening. All the while i have not watched it because i am afraid it would not live up to its expectations. I supposed it has always been like that for me, contemplating too much. Aha. It did not disappoint, in fact it is one of those few movies that make me think about it even if i lay on the bed, trying to sleep.

Memory-erasing is bullshit. I would never want to erase any part of memory or any person for that matter. I firmly believe that memories make up who we are today. The funny thing was that before the movie, i went to Margt's blog and she actually had this only post there with previous archives deleted,

"I have the habit of erasing memories off my life every now and then- for 22 years."

I was part shocked, part amazed upon reading it. How do you cultivate a habit of wiping out memories? But i rationalize that it is this unique quality or should i say, ability that enables Margaret to move on at seemingly the speed of light from almost everything, the setbacks and painful lessons. She does not linger apparently. What to do, she is just, a standout individual.

Then again, admiring her does not mean i need to emulate or agree. I still hold on to my beliefs about keeping memories, regardless the worth. My SJAB days, friendships that were forged with harris, boon- the AC2 guys, jiemin, the cellgroup people; erase them? You might as well erase me, give me a new identity.

I constantly pride myself upon the ability to archive all sorts of memory, at the back of my mind, i can vision pockets of memories filed neatly into sorted folders. I love to be able to pull them out whenever needed, its erm. Awesome?

Imagine one day on the road when you see a pedestrian and you just cannot seem to figure out where you met him/her. And he/she is (was) the love of your life.

Or. You remember this particular incident which is the best memory of your life, say pillow-taking under a starlit night on a frozen up river, and yet, you just cannot recall the face of the person you were with.

I say screw it.

"Blessed are the forgetful; for they get better even of their blunders."
- Friedrich Nietzsche

BULLSHIT.

会有那么一天。。

Bicycle-friendly Amsterdam, boring England, passionate Merseyside, populated China, beautiful Spain, romantic France and vanishing Venice.

It has always been a dream of mine to be able to travel round the world. Yea, many others' dream as well. The difference is, I am going to fulfill it. I am sure.

Anyway, it has been on my mind recently where i would go for my university studies. I contemplated alot of places. States, down-under and even Malaysia. Maybe I really want to test my level of independence, get away from this place, grow accustomed to the idiosyncrasies of the locals of another country for at least a few years. Maybe I just want to build myself an unique album of memory before the practicalities of the society set in, stifling all avenues. Maybe I just need to know if I belong here.

Bah, for now. I will just stick to my books and day dreaming.

Maybe.. I just want to breakaway.

It's hard for me to look away.

That would be ideal, isn't it.

Diminish all our dilemmas, and clarify the sickening doubts.
But no. It would perhaps make us less feeling, less of a human.

Yea, i want to be a narcissist.
But this time, i just cant.

Comfortably Numb

This is for yesterday.

My inertia to go out was sky high even when the gloom and rain cleared up. My motivation was waning due to my skeleton of lazy bones. I just want to stay home and let the much missed new sofa and television accompany in the countdown to the dreaded Monday. But something within just urged me to go get out of the four walls and embark on a mini adventure for myself.

On bike, I ventured out, thought I would just cycle along the connecting park connectors and enjoy the luxury of having an afternoon all to myself. Eventually I ended up in East Coast Park an hour later, with tired limbs and an awfully sore butt. In any case, I took a long break at the pier/ jetty, and just do people-watching. I have always enjoyed this particular activity since young. I like looking at how people behave, scrutinizing their dressing, and observing their reactions to different situations. It can be quite an obsession, I got to admit. But it had helped to nurture my keen sense of observation and eye for details you see.

So there I was, enjoying the sea breeze, entertaining myself by conjuring funny thoughts in my mind when this Chinese couple decided that I would be their photographer of their day. The camera was pushed into my hesitantly stretched-out hands and somehow I started snapping away, time-freezing their unabashed smiles and blissful expressions as well as some awkward postures that I am baffled by. When their seemingly insatiable appetite for photos was somehow filled, I went back to my interrupted activity and its amazing how relationships is such a huge part of our life, if not the essence of it. I read a book “The Last Chinese Chef” and it revolves around two Chinese characters “关系”. I do not think anyone could ever live a life as if he/ she is an island, just self-sufficient and all. We have “关系” with the cleaning lady for our offices, the hair dresser that does our hair regularly and the neighbor that just stays right beside us.

Anyway, I decided the sore ass had enough rest and headed home. And guess what, I bumped into Bren on his usual jogging route. A really pleasant surprise. We lingered and just exchanged a friendly conversation for a few minutes before we went our separate ways. Bren is a blessed brother whose presence and uniqueness I have come to adore and appreciate. I wish the best for him. Heartfelt.

AND I DID MY SUPER GROCERY SHOPPING!

The trees danced to the wind ever so gracefully,

The waves caressed the beach ever so caringly.

And as I marvel at His beautiful works,

I pray that His Grace would never end,

Baby, it's cold outside.

Blogging on a Sunday noon is hardly a norm for me these days.
A blessing even, in fact.

I postponed the guitar lesson to somewhere further down in the week and requested an off-day from ministry. Thought i deserved a break from all the hustle bustle of the usual working week. A Sabbath is just what i need i guess, albeit it comes fortnightly for me.

The tranquility of a raining Sunday afternoon is lulling. Not that i could go back to sleep anytime soon, and no thanks to the ridiculous accustomed body clock that forces me to arise from my precious slumber. I officially declare that i hate rainy days. It does not offer much to one's need to have a day out with himself right? Thought i would go cycling, rent some dvds/ borrow some books and spend the last of today in some Starbucks not remembering the imminent arrival of Monday.

Well, everything is ruined now. And besides, the rain always brings about darker emotions and evokes certain melancholy. Something that i tend to stay away from since i do not want to "be tainted" and go "emo".

Bah. So now i get to stay home and maybe catch a rerun of pool's lost to madrid. Oh, guess what. We are linked now with van der vart and benzema? Next thing you know, ronaldo and messi are on the next plane down to merseyside. I have stopped fantasizing about pool's transfer policies. Perfect fantasies-crusher liverpool is, i tell you.

Moving on, reading ris's blog is always an enjoyment and pleasure. Maybe he do not seek to entertain but well, perhaps we share certain degrees of similarity in our everyday thinking so much so that i concur with his rumblings.

For now, lunch first.

The world we live in is a beautiful place.
Pity if we could only see the rat race we are caught up in.

Floundering Youth?

This should be like some sort of dogged declaration by all the people in our age group. Most times, we rationalize too much, are void of the boldness to take the plunge and lack the necessary tenacity to carry through what was started.

Years on, I would like to look back on my youth with fondness and proclaim that “Yea, I have tried.”

Hope not.